||[Apr. 15th, 2004|10:57 pm]
|||||DJ Tiesto - Touch Me||]|
Blah. Today has felt empty. It felt like a waste of a day. I don't know why.
I went to the mall with Lance and Brock, that was all groovy until something clicked inside of me...then I started to feel sad. I was pretty certain I could master my emotions, but it's alot harder than I thought.
So I'm reading "The perks of being a wallflower" I like it, but I hate it too. I hate the main character, I hate his innocence, I hate how he's a victim, I hate how he cries all the time, I hate how he's so easily influenced. I've reached the tear-soaked pages, and I can't cry. I guess the book just doesn't feel as real to me. That saddens me, I feel very heartless right now. Ugly on the inside for not feeling these kids pain. I feel stupid because I feel like maybe I'm missing the point. I understand Charlie's problem, but it feels like he's not really trying to solve it all. Now, Requiem for a Dream...that movie made me cry. All their situations seemed hopeless. In the end, the pursuit for happiness just led them all to a bitter end. Maybe the reason why I can't cry for Charlie (Patrick too, poor Patrick) is because I feel he still has a chance. I don't know.
Of all the people in the world who I don't understand...I understand myself the least it feels sometimes.
Anyways, in return for lending me the book, I gave Chris some happy books~ Princess Bride and Alice in Wonderland (happy? or just on crack? both?)
I bought Gwang's present today~ I didn't buy him cows, but I did buy two of his other favourite things~ I also bought myself a manga, Demon Ororon. I remember seeing the cover a long time ago while browsing jpqueen, and I became interested. And now it's licenced~ Victory for me~ I enjoy it. It's kind of shoujo-ie...well, I guess it is shoujo. A bit dark. Lovable though~ The main character Chiaki is kyute. I wish I was like her. Cutely masculine...like that Japanese exchange student at our school.
Oh yeah, everyone get LJs so they post comment in my journal. Sorry, I don't want anonymous comments anymore because silly hosers are out abusing that by posting silly ignorant comments and just not leaving a name. Ignorance is a pet peeve of mine, though I'm probably being a hypocrite. Blah~ Everyone's a hypocrite I guess. Usually, hatred for others come from an existing self-hatred, therefore it must be true~
But I'm done now~ Bai.